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Things I’ve learned since moving in together with my boyfriend

It has been three months since my boyfriend and I moved into our new apartment in Vienna. He has been living in Vienna for several years but for me it was a whole new situation, my first own apartment, living in a new city and moving in together with somebody. I had many expectations before moving, some were more realistic than others but all in all, I’m super happy with the situation and enjoy living in Vienna.


Our relationship has always been so easy although we kind of had a distance relationship. That might be the reason why I thought that moving in together would not change much between us. We have been together for a bit more than a year and spent a lot of time together, almost every weekend, either in Vienna or Upper Austria or on holidays. So I kind of felt that we could already see how living together would be like for us. Somehow everything is different when you live in your own space together, some things better, some things more challenging. Netflix becomes your best friends and Saturday nights seem well spent when chilling together on the sofa. Compromises are a regular thing now and quality time has to be planned again.


Where is the whole attention?

One part of moving in together that has been a bit hard on me first was that suddenly I did not get all the attention anymore. I was used to be greeted passionately, kissed and hugged for a long time, especially when we haven’t seen each other longer than usual. Especially in a long distance relationship, you make time for each other and try to value the time you have. Now, we wake up beside each other every morning and it’s wonderful. Still sometimes it’s quite hard to be put second, all of a sudden other people and things seem more important than you.


Getting pissed off easily

When being in a relationship for some time, it’s normal to find personal traits about your partner that annoy you. However, I feel it has been getting worse when moving in together. Sometimes I catch myself getting angry about the smallest thing that I would have never expected to make me go wild. A moment later I normally feel very guilty and just think “WTF”. I don’t why I get pissed off so easily, however, I really hope this part is just a phase connected to my stress level at the moment. Luckily my boyfriend keep calm in such situations and cheers me up. 🙂


Different sleeping patterns can be so annoying

Sleeping patterns are easy to overcome when you only sleep together sometimes. But when living together, it can be so annoying. I’m used to going to bed around 11 but he often stays up passed midnight and works in the night. Also our “productivity” hours are quite different. I can hardly ever work after 9 p.m. and love to get a head start on things in the morning. He on the other hand enjoys sleeping in and rather works in the afternoon and in the night. I’m not complaining or anything, but let’s be honest, we all love cuddling before falling to sleep in his arms.


Me and You is Us

Since we both were very busy when we moved in, we had to plan time again for each other. I try to make as much time for my boyfriend as possible but on the other hand, I tend to forget taking time for myself. Me and You becomes Us and it’s tricky to stay individuals. I think it’s a process to start doing more for/by yourself again. After all, I had hardly any free time the last couple of months, which I mostly spent with him. It’s a constant back and forth between Me and Us. But, I believe I have finally found the right balance between spending time together and focusing on myself.


The Meanings of marriage, growing old together and having children change

All of a sudden, everything seems to be set in stone, which is a bit scary. We don’t talk about “if we have children, …” but about “when we have kids, …”. I want it all and I love thinking about my future with this amazing boyfriend of mine. However, it still makes me a bit anxious about the future and I feel a pressure about doing everything right. I have learned not to take these things too serious for now and rather enjoy the present. Since moving in together, it feels like we are a little family, just the two of us. Everybody takes us serious as a couple and jokes about when we get married. The idea of having found somebody I potentially will spend the rest of my life with and the feeling that you don’t have to do anything alone is pretty damn good.


I would love to hear what you have experienced when moving in together with somebody. Can you relate to some of my points?

Love, Kessy

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